Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one Fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so.
-Mark Twsin, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar
What better way to express your patriotism by drinking to much and playing with explosives?
Image credit: Brian Hefele, courtesy flickr
“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society”
One should refrain, as much as possible, from judging a book merely by its cover. But it is also best when a book has a clean, well-made cover.
“New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.”
New Years Eve is one of the saddest holidays of the year; no it is the saddest. People only look happy because they’ve had too much to drink, many with the notion that it is for the last time.
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so”
The more tenaciously a thought is held, the more irrational it becomes. But it ain’t necessarily so.
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, most of them never happened.”
– Mark Twain
Beware the boogie man in the dark corner, for he just may not exist.
“I would rather have my ignorance than another man’s knowledge, because I have got so much more of it.”
All we can be sure of is our own ignorance – knowing that we don’t know. An abundance of known ignorance is better than a paucity of knowledge.
“Pessimist: the optimist who didn’t arrive”
Just showing up requires a level of optimism that the true pessimist is unwilling to give.
“I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one”
The difference between a million dollar idea and the worthless boasts of a crank is like the difference between a great joke and a terrible one -timing.
“It is a talent by itself to pay compliments gracefully and have them ring true. It is an art in itself.”
– Mark Twain, speech, “The Lost Lotos Club”
You da’ man… No you da’ man…
“Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.”
The better the education, the more you know what you don’t know – unless you’re too stupid. Then you know everything.